I've Been Through The Mess of Life...
Hold Up...You've Gotta Hear This.
Before I began tending to my emotional world, before I began my journey into deeper, emotional healing - I was sad. I was "could not get up off the floor sad". I was deeply depressed, suicidal and largely lacked direction and meaningful purpose in my life. I was floundering. I was floating. I was numb. I was full of rage. I was addicted to my own suffering. I was an alcoholic who was quickly ruining the health of my body.
there are many things i thought could cure me.
I thought that traveling could cure me. I thought that if I bought plane tickets to enough places, I could fix myself - I could find relief. I thought men could cure me. I thought I could find love and acceptance. I thought partying and alcohol could offer me the joy I longed for. I thought conventional therapy would make me feel better. I thought Church and religion would relieve me of my guilt. I thought "being good" and playing by the rules could save me. But I just got deeper and deeper into my depression. I felt alone. I felt disconnected. I felt lost. I felt like my behavior was totally unpredictable and chaotic.
I wanted to start to feel whole.
I began writing this in my journal, "I want to meet a spiritual teacher. I want to find healing." I was done with traveling. My nerves were raw from jet lag and bad, Indian street food, stomach ulcers and years of abusing my body. I had just broken up with yet another boyfriend and I was ready to do some serious soul searching. I wrote that request in my journal over and over again. It seemed to be a longing I had. It actually surprised me. I thought I wanted fortune and fame but it turns out, I wanted to start feeling whole.
I met my spiritual teacher and counselor
Not long after I wrote that in my journal, I met my Shamanic spiritual teacher and counselor. I began to meet with him weekly and felt listened to, heard, seen and finally, I began to feel some emotional relief. I stopped drinking. I started to clear my body out of toxins. I began to find a sense of purpose and meaning. I wanted to heal and more so, I wanted to help others heal - for real.
I began to heal...
I stopped having suicidal thoughts, I stopped ruining every relationship that came my way, I started to notice the impact I had on others around me, I began my first real romantic relationship of honesty and deep care, I stopped feeling depressed, I stopped feeling like I wanted to run away, my rage disappeared, I healed my relationship with my mother, I stopped giving my authority away, I let go of what others thought of me, I came into my true desires and wants, I felt my dreams for the first time and I came to know a depth of spiritual connection that I didn't think existed. I stopped feeling alone. I stopped feeling disconnected. I began to feel present, calm, centered, joyful, adventurous and most importantly, free.
my life today
After I did all that healing, my life began to change. I came out as queer, I met my life partner and I began to study the healing lineage that had changed my life so that I could offer it to others. By the way, this healing lineage is an ancient Shamanic Tradition called Ka Ta See. I began to study Shamanic Counseling, Shamanic Astrology, the tradition of Shamanic Pipe Ceremonies, Ancient Shamanic Healing Arts and more. I couldn't get enough.
Eventually, my family and friends began to comment on the changes they saw in me. They began to tell me how different it felt to be around me. I did not take this lightly - after all - I had been a rage machine for decades and had hurt a lot of people along the way.
I have been studying Ka Ta See, Shamanic Counseling and Astrology since 2012 and now I offer it to people all over the world. My partner and I, Heathar, live in the wild mountains of Taos, New Mexico with our dog, Alice Walker Texas Ranger (yes, that's her real, official name).
Life Changing Training & Education
Certified Shamanic Counselor and Astrologer - Santa Fe, New Mexico - 2012-ongoing
Monthly counseling sessions with Shamanic teacher and guide (Ken Robinson) since 2012
Certified Ka Ta See Healer - Santa Fe, New Mexico - 2012-2016
Ka Ta See Advanced Teacher Training and Studies - Santa Fe, New Mexico - 2015 -ongoing
BA in Social Work from Northern Arizona University
"Jen, I feel like a reborn human since our last conversation. You were truly a life raft in that storm for me. I wish I had other words besides thank you to express what that meant to me. I really feel like I've claimed my wild self - that I understand Her and more of my own Song. I am so grateful to operate from this place of being!! I wanted to say how much I know you're holding space for me even when I'm not emailing or talking to you on the phone. I can SO feel it and I often sink into it when I need it. I am so appreciative that you're holding that big big supportive container for me!! Thank you!!"
-Stephanie Halligan, Boulder, CO