The most important thing in my life is finding the feeling of wild freedom. For me, that is Song, pure joy, and the place that makes me feel alive. This is why I do the work I do, to guide each person to their own, unique feeling of wild freedom - one only they can know.
In the beginning, I was a good girl…
For a long time in my life I felt restricted, I felt caged, I felt judged - I felt limited by what others said my life had to be. I let the expectations that others had of me define my path. I felt resentful and angry. I felt codependent and scared. I was so afraid of losing all the people in my life if I didn’t do what they wanted me to do.
I grew up in the Evangelical Christian Church, adhering to the standards of holiness and purity. I tried to be good. I didn’t kiss boys. I did my homework, I went to school, I saved my money, I tried to match my image to look like a good, straight, white girl, I volunteered, I didn’t drink, I called my Grandparents - I was good. I contorted myself to be what everyone wanted me to be. I didn’t rock the boat. I kept the boat nice and steady.
And then, I exploded…
After I graduated high school, I exploded. The tiny shards of wildness that were trying to come through me burst forward into a chaotic jumble. I started heavily drinking, my sexuality exploded and I traveled to every place I could think of (India, Costa Rica, Thailand, Mexico, Hawaii). I stopped going to church and started trying to put together this growing divide I felt within myself - how can I be good and wild at the same time? Can I do both?
I started to get sick…
All the chaos was starting to have an impact on me and I began to get sick. I was hospitalized for stomach conditions, ulcers, stress and finally in 2012, a detached retina in my left eye that threatened to take my vision. That got my attention. I knew I had to change my life.
I started to heal…
My life seemed to change all at once when I decided I was ready. I met my spiritual teacher and counselor in 2012 while waiting tables at a café, I stopped drinking, I met my life partner while apprenticing with a local midwife (that was another life), I completely changed my diet, decided to move out into the country and stop working jobs that felt endlessly life-sucking. I began to unravel how deadening my life had felt. First, doing everything everyone had expected of me and then doing the opposite - destroying many things in my life by drinking and disregarding the feelings of everyone around me. I was ready to do the inner work.
My Life Today
Today, I live in the middle of the Northern New Mexico mountains - every morning I wake up to wildness around me. I watch the ravens, listen to the coyotes and think, “Holy shit, what a long way from the middle of Phoenix, Arizona.”
I have been studying with my Shamanic teachers since 2012 and continue to learn the ancient ways of the Ka Ta See tradition. I am studying Shamanic Counseling, Shamanic Astrology, the tradition of Shamanic Pipe Ceremonies, Ancient Shamanic Healing Arts and more. My life has become devoted to healing in the most genuine and authentic way I could have ever imagined. For me, it will be a life-long journey of learning.
My life looks very different than it did a decade ago - some may only see tiny remnants of the girl they once knew. This is good. I’m glad for this - she needed to be rebuilt from the ground up. She was in pain, she was hurting and she definitely wasn’t free.
Now, I invite you into this intimate and wild healing community - one we’re all creating together. We can walk the land, sit by the fire, share feelings and of course, eat some delicious food. We can soak in warm water and remember the wildness that’s been within us all along.
Life Changing Training & Education
Certified Ka Ta See Healer - Santa Fe, New Mexico - 2012-2016
Ka Ta See Advanced Teacher Training and Studies - Santa Fe, New Mexico - 2015 -present
Massage Therapist - Santa Fe School of Massage - Santa Fe, New Mexico - 2013
Certification in Holistic Midwifery from The Matrona - Seattle, WA- 2011