Black Moon Lilith: The Call to Un-Demonizing Our Eroticism

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“I’ve lost my wild heart once. Twice. Too many times to count. The funny thing is, that the losing and the finding are interwoven. We must lose our wild hearts from time to time, I believe. We must so that we know why we need them.”

-Jeanette LeBlanc


Black Moon Lilith is a point found between the Earth and our Moon. Essentially, she’s a place in the void, in-between spaces. She is not a solid point in 3D time space. She is a point of alignment between the Earth and the Moon. In this way, we can see how important our sense of alignment with Lilith is. our alignment with her is directly connected with our core sense of safety, emotional freedom and groundedness on Earth.

To look to where Lilith resides in our chart is to look for our wildness, our unbrideldness and our passion. Lilith points out how we own our authority and refuse to give it away to anyone. Lilith is a symbol, not only for women, but for men to step out of the confines of the patriarchy and the ways we all power over ourselves


We can ask ourselves these questions with Lilith:

  • Where do I not feel my own power?

  • Where do I feel my power could be and has been taken from me?

  • What am I willing to do to hunt for and intimately know my power?

  • How is the core of my erotic desire connected to knowing my power?


Lilith is written about in many different cultures and mythologies that set out to make her evil and bad. In many stories, Lilith is condemned to the role of “vampire” and even one who is blamed for killing infants. The church and the religious dogma of our world has demonized the potency of Lilith. As we see time and time again, Lilith is shamed for her sexual aliveness, her sensuality and her desire for life. Again, we see how the church has been afraid of the power of women and of the feminine - both within women and within the bodies of men and those who identify as male. 

In many myths, Lilith is recognized as Adam’s first wife - the wife he dismissed because they fought about power. It is said that Adam wanted a more “subservient” woman and thus found Eve to be his second wife. Some mythologists even say that Lilith is part of Eve - that they are the same being. That Lilith is the cast out part of ourselves that we see as “less than”. Eve then becomes the feminine part of us that we have deemed worthy and acceptable to show in this world driven by patriarchy.

Lilith can represent ways that we have split off from ourselves. Ways that we have “given up our innocence” and chosen to identify as “dark” or “bad”. Many children have experiences where they are forced to grow up too fast, see things and experience things before they are ready. Lilith tugs on them early on. She can be the bringer of the taboo and the darker side of sexual experiences. In many cases, we leave our innocence behind, seeing no way to exist in both worlds. We split from ourselves. We turn to the “dark side”. We take the archetypal plunge into the underworld perhaps before we are ready. We leave parts of our innocence and the purity of our love and sexuality behind. We may begin to think that there is no way to bridge our two worlds: love and innocence with the trauma and taboo of the adult world. We may begin to demonize ourselves (the way many myths and religions demonize Lilith). We may begin to think we are dirty and wrong. 

Whether we’ve grown up in a religious culture or not, this way of thinking pervades our world. The work with where Lilith is in our astrological chart is to reclaim our passion, our sexual aliveness, our desires and how we can be completely true to our own eroticism (our most deeply rooted desire and creativity). The work with Lilith is to notice the ways we have given up our own potency, let our boundaries be invaded and let other power over us. Lilith asks and invites us to claim our power and the power that lives in our body. We are creative and reproductively capable beings. We have the ability to create life. We have creative energy. We have blood and passion. Lilith shows us where we can come back to life again, lifting the veil on the dogmatic spiritual culture of our world to find and claim our own erotic authority again. 

Joseph Campbell suggests that Lilith was associated with young infants and women because she rules the realms of stillbirth and miscarriage — the darker places of birth and death where the veil is thin. Lilith enjoys to walk in-between this realm where perhaps not many are willing to tread. There is pain, terror, grief and sorrow that live here. Lilith is not afraid of any of those realms. She will step into the cavern of a woman's most intense suffering and say, “I am here. You are not alone." 

Lilith does not want to be harnessed but at the same time, it is in recognizing our own harnessing that we can find the ways in which we long to be free. Lilith has become an Icon of Freedom in many modern day feminists circles. She shows us where we rise above any kind of oppression. There may be rage here, grief, denial and uncomfortable feelings. The work with Lilith is to feel the depths of these feelings. This is how we can own our true power again. 

This archetype is not only for women. Men too must look to the ways they power over themselves and demonize their own sexual desires. Men must also find the ways they have been afraid of their own sexual potency. How have men been afraid of how the world/women might respond to their sexual desires? How have men been made to be attackers and violent because of their sexual desires? Of course, there are many instances where men act out their sexual desires in inappropriate ways with other humans. Almost every woman I know has an experience of this and we need to share about it in safe spaces. But equally, there are many men who are now timid and scared to own the authenticity of their own eroticism. Lilith asks men to claim this again with healthy boundaries.

Lilith is not a kept woman. Lilith wants her freedom and her independence. This does not mean that she is not connected. But she will not sacrifice her freedom for connection. Lilith becomes what all tyrants fear: a person who is aware that she in enslaved. Where Lilith is in our chart, points to where we may feel enslaved and how we might respond to that enslavement. How do we go about becoming aware of this and freeing ourselves? Where are the places that we let ourselves easily slip into enslavement? 

Lilith will show us the true desires of our erotic realm: our fantasies, our fetishes, our deepest, long-hidden desires. She will unearth the taboo within us in an attempt to give it fresh breath and air. The desires of Lilith want to be heard. She will no longer keep them silent. 

Transiting Lilith will also have an impact on our chart. Every nine months, Lilith will change houses. She will move into a new realm and we can look to the movement of Lilith through each house as an awakening of our erotic desire, our passion and our desire to reclaim our freedom. 

To find out more about Lilith in your chart and for a full astrological reading, please contact Jen at jen@jenantill.com